Things I’ve learned about babies so far:
When something is placed at or near the roof of their mouths, they have a suck reflex.
When you touch the middle of their palms, they have a grasp reflex.
When there is a sudden noise in the room, they have a startle reflex.
Unbeknown to most, when you wear long sleeve clothes and are readying for work, they sense this and if their diaper is off, they have a projectile urination reflex.
You can get Carpal Tunnel by holding a baby in the wrong way for too long.
Finally, I’ve posited that there is some sort of distortion in the space-time continuum within their bodies that allows them to hold inordinate amounts of nebulous gas that cannot possibly physically exist within the small confines of their Lilliputian digestive tract. Luckily, some of the laws of physics still apply (such as Boyles’ Law) and the sudden evacuation of fumes are pre-determined by Jim Carrey-like distortions of the face, neck and head.
There is still much to divine from babies of course, but don’t worry, I’ll keep everyone up to date.
